Monday, January 28, 2008

What if...

The assignment this week is the 50 what if's...

It has been interesting to watch this class. It is very different from the last group and we all seem very uncomfortable sharing thoughts and ideas. We seem like a very "safe" group... Today we will take that head on and see what happens. Either the whole class will revolt or it will help loosen us up. Either reaction would be better than indifference. My quest is to combat this apathy and find out what it takes to light the fire needed to start the synergy for this group. I KNOW we are all interesting individuals, I just need to find the "on" switch.
  1. what if it rained Pop Rocks candy
  2. what if i wore horribly mismatched clothes and no one ever said anything about it
  3. what if my cat was really an alien
  4. what if my ears could talk
  5. what if my eyes had mouths
  6. what if no one does this assignment
  7. what if all students refused to do homework
  8. what if we all stopped paying taxes
  9. what if the whole class spontaneously burped at the same time
  10. what if hot air balloons were powered with methane
  11. what if i used punctuation in all my im's and chatrooms
  12. what if you could only spell with numbers
  13. what if cars ran on dead fish
  14. what if grass bled when you cut it
  15. what if i didn't shower for 2 years
  16. what if eating Rolaids made you gay
  17. what if Coke (the drink) was a health food
  18. what if coke (not the drink) was used in Frosted Flakes
  19. what if i didn't do 50 of these
  20. what if i asked the same question
  21. over
  22. and
  23. over
  24. and
  25. over
  26. and
  27. over
  28. and
  29. over
  30. and
  31. over
  32. and
  33. over
  34. and
  35. over
  36. and
  37. over
  38. and
  39. over
  40. and
  41. over
  42. and
  43. you
  44. never
  45. heard
  46. the
  47. answer
  48. to
  49. the
  50. question

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

For the first assignment this semester, I gave each person a fork. I quickly found that forks are not as thought-provoking as eggs... But here is my contribution nonetheless...

A natural history of the common plastic fork

The common plastic fork (forkus plasticus) is a fascinating creature as demonstrated in it's Linnean taxonomy below:
  • Domain: Eukaryota (organisms which have cells with a nucleus)
  • Kingdom: Animalia (with eukaryotic cells having cell membrane but lacking cell wall, multicellular, heterotrophic)
  • Phylum: Chordata (animals with a notochord, dorsal nerve cord, and pharyngeal tine slits, which may be vestigial)
  • Subphylum: Vertebrata (possessing a backbone made of rigid plastic, to protect the dorsal nerve cord)
  • Class: Plasticalia (endothermic vertebrates with shiny plastic exoskeletons and mammary glands which, in females, stab solid food to nourish young)
  • Subclass: Placentalia (giving birth to live young after a full meal has been procured)
  • Order: Tinates (tines face forward, food grasping tines, and two types of tines: pokey and spear-like)
  • Family: Hominidae (upright posture, no brain, stereoscopic vision for stabbing food, flat face, tines and handles have different specializations)
  • Genus: Forkus (multi-tined, "fork")
  • Species: Plasticus (shiny, well-developed tines, flexible, disposable)

The forkus plasticus has formed a symbiotic relationship with humans over time and have allowed themselves to become domesticated. These sheltered creatures have discovered that by allowing humans to use them to facilitate clean and neat eating habits (usually) they themselves have found safe haven from the elements through domestication. See illustration below.

Most humans believe that the domesticated variety is the only strain of Plasticus Forkus in existence but research has proven that this may not be the case.

This photo was found outside a rural residence in southern Indiana.

The person who discovered these tracks wants to remain anonymous because if word were to spread of the location, media would quickly descend on the property thereby destroying possibly the only surviving natural habitat of the Plasticus Forkus Wildensis, a subspecies believed to have been distinct since the last Automat closed. I submit the following photos as evidence of the revival of this pristine plastic beauty.

You be the judge!

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

First post of the new semester!!!

The great rotisserie of time has turned again which brings us to a fresh offering of N485: Seeing Sideways: The New Media Eye. There are 25 innocent victims registered this semester and one of them has already started the first homework assignment! More coming soon... In the mean time, check out this bit of cooliosity I found on the web! (Current fellow sidesters will get it...)